When I was a little girl, I told my mom all I wanted one Christmas was voice lessons. She tried to be as diplomatic as possible about her no. First, she listed all the things I’d surely like better than voice lessons. A skateboard? Barbies? An easel to draw perhaps? “No mama, I want to sing like Susan.” Susan is my most gifted big sister who still brings me to tears with the sound of her voice. Finally my mom, who rarely said no to me, dropped the bomb. She told the the brutal truth, “I dont think they would do any good honey.” Ouch! I was devastated. But you see, she was right. God had given me many other talents but I wanted my sister’s more than my own.
Flash forward to the retreat last year. As I sat one day thinking deeply about the message that would be delivered over the course of the weekend, I started to write a poem. It all came out in one burst with few edits. It reflected the heart of a woman who was realizing for the first time that perfection is God’s. That we are His daughters because we belong to the perfect king, not because we are perfect. I titled it Princesses Aren’t Perfect and sent it to the retreat team to encourage them to leave perfection to the King in their retreat preparation.
Now rewind to Kat, the women’s ministry leader. I’ve had the privilege of leading a few retreat teams. I’m always fed by the fellowship, the growth that comes from working through conflict, and the blessing that comes from obedience to a hard calling. I’m very focused on giving during these events and leaving it all on the field. I generally have a hard time receiving and justify it by the fulfillment I get from giving.
Ok, so fast forward one last time to the last day of the retreat. It’s Sunday morning. The whole weekend has been powerful, emotional, life changing and Spirit filed. We had a family death the evening before and ministered to a hurting woman into the night. I am the last speaker and I’m exhausted and full all at the same time. I know my sermon will start after the last drama clip which I haven’t seen yet. I can’t wait.
It starts to roll and I hear the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. I look up and the screen says “Princesses Aren’t Perfect” by Kat Silverglate. The tears pored from my eyes as I tried to make sense of what was happening. Karen had put the poem I had written to music and recorded a song. I could barely breathe when I got up to speak. I said to the audience a simple truth that God put on my heart as I walked up to the stage, “God has given me everything I’ve ever asked for within His will.” I then told the story of wanting voice lessons and realizing that God was giving me my desire in the most delightful way. He was using Karen’s voice to produce the song I had in my heart. He gave me a voice by making me one with the Body of Christ. I have never felt so loved by a conspiring group of women as I did that day. Never. And I watched God satisfy, yet again, a longing in my heart. God is in the business of satisfying our desires. In my experience, it rarely happens the way I script it for Him. But He has this way of loving his daughters that blows me away.
There’s nothing like the miracle that happens when we allow ourselves to truly become one for Him.